29 October 2017

break away

i need to break free
i need to break free from your ties,
you're so scared of this life
i don't need you

i want to break free
god knows
god knows i need to break free...

okay, that was so stolen from Queen, but it fitted the words i was feeling in my head and heart.
it's become clear to me that i need to break free.
i need to break free from the thinking that's been keeping me bound to a life that's not good for me. i need to feel free, and do things that are scary and risky, and last night it became very clear to me that i need to {temporarily} exclude a few people from my life. cos they keep dragging me back to my scared side. they keep 'reminding' me of how scary the world is, how risky it is to wander and roam... unfortunately those people are my family...
which makes it all the more tricky.

cos how do you make it clear that you want your relationship with your family on the back burner, without them feeling hurt? when all your life you've had the message that if you stay on board, you're okay, but if you're not, you're the enemy...?
when these people have perfected the guilt-trip, they're great at making me feel crap when i follow my heart, when i do what feels good for me, when i listen to my inner voice...
which is exactly why i need to shut them out for a while in the first place...!!

so, i'll trust my inner voice a bit more, i'll listen to my heart a bit stronger, i'll believe in myself a little harder... i can do this...


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